A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
