Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
