dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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