I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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