Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize