just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
