I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
