My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
