she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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