So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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