kristin has been a bad kristin
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
