And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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