You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Maybe he injected his testicle?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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