My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
