I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There r osticjed everywhere
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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