I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
