Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
