a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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