I CAN MOONWALK!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
