Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize