but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
