The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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