Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
