we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
