I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
