all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
