Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
