Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
