im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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