I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
