you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
