he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
