About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
