We named our party play list daddy issues
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
