Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
