Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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