is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize