I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
