I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize