yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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