We're facebook friends in real life
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
