i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
there is glitter all over my balls
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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