I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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