i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
