did you get engaged???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
