I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
