Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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