That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do herpes really smell.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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