it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
