That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
