Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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