my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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