Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
