10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
