I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
