you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
