just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
