I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
