Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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