pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
