Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
