If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
