Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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