no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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