I want to make a zoo with you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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