good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
