i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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